First post on my blog! I’m super excited as I’ve debated what value I could bring to people. I realized I can relate to many different people based on my challenges, my successes, and my opportunities. Let’s first start with what’s actually happening today.
COVID-19 Safe at Home – How many of you were hit with COVID-19 so hard you don’t know what hit you? The first two weeks of “Safer at home” was the most challenging time in a very long time. It felt like being a new parent again, not knowing what to do exactly, many emotions flying. You have to figure out as you go. There is no manual to determine the best workflow in your home, work, personal life during this time. Only you can decide that for yourself.
School and Work – The thing I had to remember is that I am super grateful that I could stay home with my kids during this time while working. Wait. Is it all that great? Nope. I have 3 kids, ages 11, 6 and 7 months. I had to “promote” my 11-year-old as the new babysitter to actually be fully responsible for my 7-month-old. I see my husband, all three kids and my dog 24/7. How do you create some boundaries or breathing space so you don’t go insane? Here’s how I did it. I strive to put structure the best way I know-how. I had to know exactly what times were going to be most crucial to feed the baby, get zoom up and running for two kids, homework, actually, classwork situated during my workday. Why can’t my husband help out? Oh, yes he does. His work schedule is very strict and has no flexibility in breaks and lunches, where I have the flexibility, but much more stress because of more responsibility. I set up several classwork areas in my house with supplies and a conducive learning environment. One is in my master bedroom where my home office has always been set up. I move my desk so my webcam faces a wall in which I placed a green screen. Why? It helps avoid my co-workers from seeing my children who want to ask questions during my video conference meetings and I don’t sweat when I see them approaching me. I can give instructions, mainly guidance on what to do next. I’ve learned to mute and unmute promptly so I can yell at them real quick to feed the baby or keep the noise down. I’ve provided extra incentive for my 11-year-old to take good care of her brother so she can have free uninterrupted time after our work hours. She will use that time to play Fortnite or connect with her cousins or friends. A little more in the allowance helps as well.
Food – The next thing I do is have lots of different ingredients for quick meals. I try to have one meal ready, but if we don’t have lots of frozen items. Yes, I know! What kind of Mom am I? A Mom trying to survive and take care of all my responsibilities the best way I know how – efficiency. We’ve been eating the same meals for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and that’s OK. I’ve trained my family to be thankful that we have hot, healthy, and delicious food. We can’t be picky. There was a week where I was worried if we could even get our essential items from the grocery list. I realized our children including ourselves have been sheltered from the reality of an actual disaster. This pandemic services as a reminder that we need to be prepared and to not take things, more importantly, our life for granted.
Time management – How do you manage time when you feel like your workday bleeds into your family, unintentionally of course? How do you create separation so your brain and body know when it’s time to work and when it’s time to disconnect? You develop small daily habits during these isolations times to give yourselves certain triggers. For example, in the morning, I do my self-care prep in the morning and create a cup of coffee. That coffee on my desk with laptop logging in tells me, time to get ready for the day. Breaks and lunches are a little more challenging as I’m juggling different tasks and depends on what my kids needs during that time. Closing time, I close the laptop and get my family ready for a walk outside. My favorite time of the day is when we do our walk around the neighborhood. It clears my head, refreshes my anxious thoughts, and allows me to recalibrate for the next day. Upon returning from my walk, that is my family time as if I’ve just come back at work. Set priorities for the night: dinner, bath, decompress (movie, tickling the kids, bonding over dinner), clean (disinfect all common areas), and then get ready for the next day.
Relationships – how do you maintain relationships. I have to remember to face time different family members throughout the week to stay connected. My relatives, especially the grandparents miss the grand kids and it’s heartbreaking to know they won’t have any photos with them or get to hold or experience all the small milestones. If I make a pot of soup or spaghetti, I put some extra in a container and drop it off to my Mom or Dad. One less meal they have to worry about. Isn’t it true that other people’s cooking always tastest better?
What has this experience taught you and your close ones? Here is what I’ve learned.
- Numero uno! Have an emergency fund of 6 months living expenses. The thought of losing our job does keep me up during the night because I didn’t have a plan. Write your plan down on paper.
- Write down all your expenses and cancel any non-essential items such as gym memberships, beauty subscriptions, and anything else that doesn’t keep you or your family fed and safe. Save – save – save! Even though you think your job is secure now, what if 6 months to one year, your company downsizes or decides to keep only “essential” staff. I know I’m in that position.
- Ensure your secure in your home with items you can protect yourselves and emergency supplies. If you needed to stay home for four weeks, could you do it? If someone was in your property what would you do? If you have a fire, and only had a few minutes to collect your things, what would you take? Keep all essential items in one place or room so you can quickly grab them.
- Mentally prepare yourself and your family for what to expect in an urgent or emergency situation. Just because you’re at home safe doesn’t mean things can get worse. What if we have increase crime? What if we have a home invasion? Let’s be real. These are things we don’t want to think about, and who thought a pandemic would keep us from work and school? Never. Mindset is key during these unpredictable times, otherwise, you will go crazy, depressed and anxious.
- Stay productive! What is being productive anyways? Is it reading a book, learning a new skill? Sure. It can also mean taking care of your “To Do” list with your relationships, money, home repairs, parenting, children, and hobbies. This can be an opportune time to use your strengths, skills and knowledge to help others or add quality in your life.
Quality in life, means what? What makes you happy and brings you joy? For me, I find a lot of joy in seeing the sky and all the different types of trees in my area. I’ve tried my best to make sure all things around my work, dinner, and kitchen area bring me joy and make sense in my everyday life. Does the workflow or flow of energy conducive to my family’s well being? Yes absolutely! Because I control my environment. I may not be able to control the world outside my house, and don’t know what’s going to happen next, and that’s OK. What’s important is that I am taking care of myself so I can take care of others. I have to take mental breaks and excuse myself if I need to breathe and collect my thoughts. I don’t always have it together, and that’s OK as long as I don’t give up and let this situation control me.